Help Phil & Malika start their family

Organised by Malika Gray · May 24, 2023

Hi we are Malika and Phillip Gray. We have been together for 9 years and will have been married 6 years on July 8, 2023. Like many couples when they first get married, we wanted to enjoy being married, learning to adjust so we put having children on hold for about a year or so. We were so excited to start our parenthood journey. We had no idea how long and exhausting this journey would be. You are always taught it just takes two people having sex, well we never imagined it wouldn’t be this easy. We have been actively trying to conceive for almost 5 years now with no luck. After a year of trying naturally, I decided I might need a little help. Right before the pandemic we started off on the road to fertility. During this time my body went haywire and I began to have long, painful and extremely heavy menstrual cycles. This led to my inability to ovulate and lead to me having to have a blood transfusion. This as you could imagine halted our journey. We decided to try again, praying my body would cooperate, this time we were seeing a fertility specialist at EVMS. Our hopes were high, we even went through one round of medication assisted fertility. It was looking promising, I was in my two week wait ,day 9.5 to be exact, when I started bleeding. Needless to say we were not successful. The was very devastating for us, and especially me. I felt like a failure and became depressed. I decided to take a break and get my mental health in order. During this time I have suffered from those extremely long and painful menstrual cycles again. It was becoming frustrating, I have had a total 4 blood transfusions and have been diagnosed with 2 types of anemia as a result. I now have to see a hematologist on regular basis and receive iv iron infusions. I seen several doctors and no one can explain why this is happening. I thought I had found my person, the specialist that would see us through but only for her to leave the practice after 3months without warning. This left me feeling like all hope was gone. I didn’t know if I could mentally go through starting over again. I still had no answers as to why my body was doing what it was and why I couldn’t conceive. Financially, I knew we couldn’t. Her replacement wasn’t helpful, he was a male with no compassion. His initial suggestion was a hysterectomy. I showed up in crisis, I had been menstruating for almost month and he did nothing. A week later, I had to have an emergency blood transfusion and was admitted into the hospital. I have never been admitted to hospital as an adult. This was scary for me. I started to realize that having a baby might not be in out cards. So I prayed, discussed with my husband Phil and decided that if I could make it to my consultation with shady Grove fertility, we would give one last try. Well I think God for his Devine timing. Dr. Banks has been a Godsend. She still has not been able to pinpoint the exact issue but come to find out, both Phil and I have fertility challenges. Dr. Banks was the first doctor to suggest looking into Phil’s ability. So here we are now, we have been on this road with Dr. Banks since January 12, 2023. I have had 1 surgery and several minor procedures in efforts to prepare my body. Phil is on his second round of treatment and it is looking promising. We have one last test scheduled in August. Dr. Banks is gearing up for us to finally began of cycles. Initially In-Vitro fertilization (IVF) was the only recommended treatment for us. This form of treatment can be upwards of $20,000 plus medications and appointments. Through our efforts, Dr. Banks feels that we could try Inter-uterine Insemination (IUI), it is far less expensive than In-Vitro fertilization (IVF) but still costly for us. Though IVF is the optimal treatment it is also not guaranteed so we would like to play it safe and try the more affordable option, IUI. At this point, we have completely tapped out all of our saving. We have insurance but unfortunately infertility is not covered. We put a lot of money over the years with appointments, medications, specialist. Even now, we are still paying off our balance just from the screening and preparation process. We cannot begin our treatment cycles until we are financially cleared. We have to pay off balance and be prepare to pay for the IUI which are $2,500 a cycle. This is where our family, friend, and community come into play. We could really use your help to help us raise money to fulfill our dreams of becoming parents. Our goal is to raising enough for 2 cycles (including medication, screening and appointments) and to cover our balance. We think this would be best. Any little bit helps , we also like to ask for prayer as we enter this stage of our journey and begin the final fight for our family. Please donate and share! God bless you and returns in blessings. Love, Phil and Malika Gray